• ByteOnBikesOP
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    2 months ago

    This happened to my wife and I recently.

    We came for a visit and her usual doctor wasn’t available. This new doctor flat out said, “I didn’t get a chance to read your medical history so tell me what’s going on.” My wife was confused, because this was her third visit to check her hormone levels. it wasn’t a checkup, but a followup.

    And this doctor proceeds to not understand any of this, as she keeps asking her questions about why she might be there, instead of spending two minutes reading the medical history.

    My wife ends up crying while Im sitting in the corner begging my wife we should just leave because shes not getting anything from this doctor.

    • ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Like George Carlin said, somewhere there is the worst doctor and someone has an appointment with them tomorrow!

        • Perhapsjustsniffit@lemmy.ca
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          2 months ago

          Having been a paramedic for many years, I’ll take the 80% med student over the no bedside manner, no common sense, overly bookish student who can only think about what the book told them.

          • Schmoo
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            2 months ago

            I would think that those types are better suited to research or other medical professions that don’t interact with patients like imaging or something.

      • rh4c6f@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        This is the third time I’ve read this comment today. I hope Joe Pesci or the sun aren’t trying to tell me something.

      • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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        2 months ago

        someone, somewhere, took the biggest dump on earth today. someome somewhere sometime took the biggest dump ever taken by a human

    • K[r]ukenberg@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      It’s a valid strategy to ask the patient to recap what brings them to the clinic. It’s very common to hear a different story from the one in the booking system or in the medical history. I’m not sure about the system were you live but medical history often takes waaaaaaaaaay more than 2 min to read up on. Maybe the last visit was recorded and had yet to been transcribed? Those can be a pain to listen to. It feels very reasonable that the doctor didn’t have time to read up on your history if they were covering for a sick/unavailable colleague.

      I would 100% prefer a doctor that is upfront about not knowing my medical history over a (more commonly occurring) dumbass pretenting to know it.

      It’s regrettable that your doctor made you feel neglected. Fault them for that, not the questions.

      Edit: *recorded as in dictated!

    • zephorah@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      Medical clinics are often overbooked, like airports. This is why they give you an appointment time that is generally thirty minutes early. ONE late person fucks the entire day’s schedule after their appointment time, that’s how tightly management insists on arranging it. Even the extra time slots of the past are being booked or even double booked in advance of the day. Docs are often given 10-15min per patient. Those other rooms you see in the hall? There are patients inside waiting for doc to go down the line, as staff keeps refilling those rooms down the line as the doc finishes. You think there’s time to read between? Oh you sweet summer child. That’s not on docs, that’s on corporate. Whatever company logo is stamped on the clinic and also on the nearby hospital, they’re the ones making it happen that way. Why? More patients crammed into each day means more $$$. Quantity over quality. Clinic docs are also paid by patient encounter. So this works together to arrange what we in healthcare commonly call a clusterfuck.

      .

      This is the part that’s probably messing with you most. And it likely won’t change. In medical, the assessment is sacrosanct. And your own. You MUST do it yourself. You don’t just go with the assessment of the first person to do one and never check again, you always check again. Always. Every visit. A lot can change in half a day. A day. A week. A month. And the quality of assessment changes with each person. Each person. Medical isn’t robots, it’s people, and most data collection happens through people. Each medical staff, doc or NP or RN or PA, gets their own assessments before they begin, unless they’re utter garbage at their jobs. This doctor never assessed you before, which means, they MUST assess you now, per their licensing. Also, a good chunk of what’s in the chart is old news. What’s right in front of you contains the best data about the patients present state. And the speed at which a clinic is to move from patient to patient, 2 min to read a chart isn’t part of the schedule. Even logging in these days can take half that 10min time slot due to old crappy computers. Sure stuff like moms medical history, what tests you’ve had already, and meds (pharmacies e-record talks to your medical e-record these days) is current, but your present state changes day to day and asking YOU what’s happening today is usually best practice and the most accurate. There’s no day prep time to a clinic day and no one takes “homework” home after work. It’s hit the ground running and just start diving into appointments. When the doc knows the patient already ofc this goes more smoothly because the doc knows the bigger picture. That’s why there’s an assigned doc for each patient.

      .

      All the NPs being trained makes the process more difficult. Heavy revolving door there as they do their version of residency and then poof they’re gone to find their actual job.

      .

      Wait until you’re admitted to a hospital from an emergency room, you’ll be in for a real treat. /s.

      • FuzzyRedPanda@lemm.ee
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        2 months ago

        For-profit medicine is a cruelty unlike any other. The United States government’s embrace of this system is truly abhorrent.

        • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Somewhere, dunno where, there is a country where doctors in state medical institutions make less than me, get bullied by superiors daily, deal with all kind of bureaucratic paper fuckery, and yet show the heroism of not leaving that work for greener pastures in private medical institutions which pay normal. And they are conscious of that. Cause sometimes lonely old people, or clueless\lost\just poor people, or someone unprepared, need help.

          Your system might not be good, but if you are thinking of building some other one, please think how it’s going to make doctor’s pay proportional to their value for the society, without tanking the rest of said society.

    • Ziglin@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I would probably also end up crying if I were in that situation. A panic attack is also not outside the realm of possibility.

  • thesohoriots@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    The doctor’s appointment is not a great example for the US because the system is so fucked. If the doctor is terrible, sit it out, and then request to never see them again. You don’t even have to say why (if/when the scheduler pressures you, just blame the free market: “my care will be better managed by someone else”). Because if you don’t like your healthcare in the US, you certainly can leave, but you will be stuck with the bill, and if it’s considered leaving “against medical advice,” you will be denied insurance coverage if you return for the same issue.

    • toynbee@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      But also, make sure you have good reason to not like the doctor, regardless of financial implications. A doctor giving you bad news or making an honest but unflattering comment is an easy situation to want to leave, but bailing on that situation is not a good solution.

      I’m not trying to say one should never take a stand, just that they should make sure of their reasoning before doing so.

      • JaggedRobotPubes@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Yeah, walking out would be more reserved for “why are you wearing that mask, don’t you know the pandemic is over?” or “don’t get (that vasectomy/your tubes tied, I know that you’ll change your mind later”.

        Just basic science denial shit, or shoving somebody else’s culture down your throat while trying to pretend it’s compassion. Stuff that no competent doctor would do in the first place.

      • thesohoriots@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Oh of course, 100%. I wouldn’t suggest changing from providers for reasons other than really botched/mismanaged/negligent care. I don’t think everyone wants to give a reason to a scheduler for the switch because honestly they don’t need to know, and I would assume the patient is having conversations way above a scheduler’s level about any issues with a provider.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Idk “I’d rather you exercise and focus on a more nutritious diet than focus on a number on a scale or your pants. Let’s focus on getting you healthy so we aren’t just trading one eating disorder for another” is both the original meaning of that concept and probably the best approach for a doctor to take

            • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              No they’re telling you to exercise because it’s necessary to maintain cardiovascular and muscular health as well as playing a role in endocrine regulation. Because it’s critical to a healthy lifestyle and it’s difficult to do.

              The point of my comment was that there are elements of heath that are vital and associated with weight loss that are better separated from it because if you think of exercise as a “weight loss thing” instead of a “important element of a healthy lifestyle no matter your weight” you will be less healthy

              The plus side is exercise does help regulate the endocrine system which can help you lose weight

              • psud@aussie.zone
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                2 months ago

                Yet the doctor is fat, they explicitly say the exercise is for weight loss, the knowledge hasn’t helped them.

    • Okokimup@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I’ve been told at one office that they didn’t allow patients to switch doctors within the same practice. Currently, I live in a very small town, and am on Medicaid. I’ve been trying to switch to the only other practice in town (my current doctor has made 5+ screw-ups with medication, and has declined to write down my information and make requested referrals), but they’re dragging their heels. So I’m not holding my breath that it will be any better. Anyway, I guess my point, apart from the rant, is that the system is even more fucked than you say.

      • thesohoriots@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Hey, I’ve heard that one before, and big surprise, it was told to another Medicaid patient. It’s a lie that means “we don’t want our practice potentially making less money.” The provider probably doesn’t even know you were told that. I wish the gnarliest of 8th-dimensional waking nightmares on every admin who enables that bullshit.

    • CodingCarpenter@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      Some areas are lucky enough to have Kaiser. It’s just a quick click and you have a new doctor of your choice. Though the rest of Kaiser is falling to shit

    • VinnyDaCat@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Because if you don’t like your healthcare in the US, you certainly can leave, but you will be stuck with the bill, and if it’s considered leaving “against medical advice,” you will be denied insurance coverage if you return for the same issue.

      Insurance is just a pain in general in the U.S. For instance some people might struggle to find a new doctor in their area if they’re dealing with a specialist and have specific insurance coverages which means cutting off their toxic doctor might be more difficult.

      Burning bridges to escape toxicity is fine, just don’t strand yourself.

    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      The doctor’s appointment is not a great example for the US

      It’s a terrible idea for the first world too, as our system was overwhelmed by Mah Raghts hillbillies begging the doctor for a miracle and physically threatening them for trying to treat the problem. Many medical staff left from all branches and levels of care because Fuck This. Now we’re stuck with very little service availability, and the very politicians who supported the aggressive halfwits are now convincing them it was the incumbent politician’s fault. and they’re believing it. We’re gonna be led by little Trumps next year.

  • Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    But remember most of all young adults: If you find yourself leaving often then the problem might be with you…

    • voldage@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      While true and valid, also remember that your community can be a problem, or you might be suffering from systemic issues. Not all issues stem from individuals, and some are impossible to solve on the personal level. If you find yourself in the cult, for example, walking away is probably the best you could do, despite the scorn of the community.

      • Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        That is true and equally worth pointing out too. I sometimes find it hard to distinguish between a heartfelt life lesson versus a platitude dressed in its Sunday best.

    • BlanketsWithSmallpox@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      If you’re seeing your 5th counselor and 7th psych because you don’t want to make lifestyle changes and simultaneously want every stimulant to keep you up and downer so you can sleep… well… You’re not fun to be their doctor for.

      • teamevil@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        On the plus side at least the doctors are not willing to enable those who will not help themselves out too

    • SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?

      Colonel Sandurz: Now. You’re looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now.

      Dark Helmet: What happened to then?

      Colonel Sandurz: We passed then.

      Dark Helmet: When?

      Colonel Sandurz: Just now. We’re at now now.

      Dark Helmet: Go back to then.

      Colonel Sandurz: When?

      Dark Helmet: Now.

      Colonel Sandurz: Now?

      Dark Helmet: Now.

      Colonel Sandurz: I can’t.

      Dark Helmet: Why?

      Colonel Sandurz: We missed it.

      Dark Helmet: When?

      Colonel Sandurz: Just now.

      Dark Helmet: When will then be now?

      Colonel Sandurz: Soon.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5drjr9PmTMA

  • paddirn@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    The One Trick That Jail Guards and Prison Wardens Don’t Want You to Know!

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      2 months ago

      This place is horrible. I’m leaving a 1 star review (the toilet wine is pretty good) and going to check in somewhere else.
      *stabs inmate to get transferred*

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Learning to deal with unpleasant people and situations is part of growing up. It’s often better to grin and bear it, learn something for future you, then never go back.

    OTHO, it’s a valuable message. You don’t always have to put up with the bullshit and should just bail.

    So which is it? Well, figuring that out is an aspect of growing older and wiser.

      • toynbee@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        An objectionable acquaintanceship may be reconcilable.

        The person leaving might not be objective in a situation and might realize that they miss the metaphorical bridge.

        A person you dislike might be a valuable resource in other ways beyond social (especially in the referenced example of a medical professional).

      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        Things change. For example:

        • burn a bridge at a company w/ a terrible boss - boss leaves and is replaced by a much better manager, but you have no shot because HR is still pissed at you
        • burn a bridge w/ a date - you end up working with that date and they remember how rude you were and end up making things suck for you
        • burn a bridge w/ a doctor - doctors tend to be friends w/ other doctors, so other doctors may choose to not bring you on

        That doesn’t mean you should let people walk all over you, it just means a little professionalism goes a long way. If you can’t stand your boss, give them a reasonable notice that you’re leaving. If your date is late, send them a text saying something came up and can no longer wait for them. If your doctor sucks, thank them for their time and ask for a referral for a second opinion, or if they take too long to see you, tell the front staff to cancel your appointment on your way out.

        You don’t have to put up with nonsense, but you should handle it as gracefully as you can, because it doesn’t cost you much and you never know if it’ll end up mattering.

      • Atrichum@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Because it’s a small world. You could very well have to interact with former colleagues again or have your behavior shared with others.

    • grrgyle
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      2 months ago

      There are ways to extricate yourself without causing offense.

    • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      It’s easy to quit something toxic, but how do you quit something where all people are well-meaning and friendly and trying to help you, but you are autistic and they simply don’t understand what that is? (And you also don’t know you are autistic yourself yet)

      That was my first uni where I dropped out at winter.

      • Glitch@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 months ago

        I feel you, I dropped out of community college twice before I learned enough about how my brain works to finally find a program I could complete. First quarter: 4.0, second quarter: 0.0. Both times :(

        Wester Governors University, an online program, was perfect for me and my ADHD. I didn’t finish quickly, or as cheaply as I had hoped, but I was able to finish.

        • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Yeah, I’m still almost there, literally have only the final thesis left.

          It’s Russia and online programs here are generally not very good, and this attempt is night school. But maybe I’ll do that before turning 29, ha-ha.

  • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org
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    2 months ago

    A couple years ago I rage quit a gaming session (during a break) with “Whelp, I’m gonna go do something I enjoy.”

    My teammates understood. They were all very good at the game and I was not. I kept getting absolutely trounced, and was bringing them down with me.
    It’s now sort of an in-joke/phrase we use unironically when the vibe is off but we still like our friends.

  • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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    2 months ago

    this should be made more clear to all patients of all ages, throughout life. they can’t force you to do anything, or do anything to you that you don’t want them to do

    • zephorah@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      Nope. In medical, you educate and advise, the patient decides. Then it’s documented and you move on to the next patient.

      In diabetes this is often seen as a foot that is now getting amputated after years of noncompliance with medical advice, but again, all you can do is educate. People decide their own actions for themselves.