Library, lol

Yes, will be picking them up from the library when my holds come in.

sorry officer I’m actually married / otherwise uninterested in dating you…

💥💥💥💥💥

I just sent this to one of my work besties. This is gonna be me in 12 hours.

I was thinking of a way to make this joke but this is probably the optimal version so I’m gonna go philosophical instead.

This is a great example of how ingrained gendered metaphors are into our society and is, itself, a meta metaphor. While such categories can be an extremely useful tool to communicate the complex relationships between people and things, we have to remember their limitations. Assigning moral implications to specific combinations or transformations actually limits the usefulness of bothering to assign those categories to begin with. Connectors are (almost) as diverse as human sexuality, and all of them, and all combinations of them, are needed to create the beatiful and varied world we connect with each other in.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.

With that background I’m surprised it wasn’t.

:)

Ba’al: ✅️Hot

Elon: ❌️Not

Honestly they don’t even do that anymore. Now they watch from the comfort of their couches while people with cancer debase themselves publicly on tiktok with the hopes of reaching them. At least these bitches had to put on a sun hat. They also convinced us that both the commons and the bread and circuses are things we should have to pay for.

All of his vids are like that. A really common one is people that don’t realize you have to show the cat what a scratching post is and that that’s ok to scratch vs the couch. Just because animals don’t talk doesn’t exclude them from the communicative requirements of any other relationship. I’ve also communicated to my cat that she may receive single finger strokes to the cheeks in exchange for a nice wet nose to nose snoot boop. It’s all about communication folks.

As a side note I use it as a metaphor to explain the importance of creative expression to my psych patients. Dogs gotta chew, cats gotta scratch, humans have to express creativity. If any of us aren’t given healthy outlets to meet those natural drives we start doing them in the wrong places in ways that harm ourselves and others.

Ooc what do you usually consider interesting? Genuine question; trying to look at this through your eyes.

Yeah I just couldn’t get it to load quite right. Glad you found it anyway!

The time Jackson Galaxy watched a cat completely ignore his usual best meat treats and instead eat a fucking donut.

Ota (open to air) is actually really common wound care advice. Wound care nursing is a pretty big specialty (like it requires a master’s and extra school) and most of the time they roll up on the unit and tell the patient to gently wash it then stop touching it. They tell me it’s not worth it to dress a lot of wounds because it actually traps bacteria. Honestly the part of this I find less believable is that a full thickness burn on the hand of all places would have to be super tiny like smaller than a pencil eraser to not get a plastic surgeon involved.

Will be perusing when I get home.

☝️

Reasons I don’t do standup:

I was born with a nuchal cord times 4 that means umbilical cord wrapped around my neck 4 times. So really if you think about it, I’ve been trying to kill myself longer than I’ve been alive.

So I figured if they were gonna be like that they were at least gonna give me some Ativan, so I… earned me some Ativan. And Benadryl. And haldol. In the industry this is referred to as a B52 as in, Benadryl, 5mg of Haldol, and 2mg of Ativan. I did not get a B52, I got a B 10 and 4 (I really earned it) and woke up on the floor of (State hospital) with my back seized up from the haldol and ~*that’s how I found out they were hiring!*~

And after that I just kept working in mental health because I figured if I was going to be stuck in psych hospitals for the rest of my life I might as well have the keys.

And now I have ten more years of jokes like that. Many of them involve feces and I often forget not to tell them over dinner.

Also cancer (especially when treated with chemo) and congenital autoimmune disorders. You actually wear your paper mask inside out to put the fluid barrier on the inside to keep particles IN better when providing care. They also can’t have raw fruit or veggies or unpasteurized dairy (and nobody should be eating raw meat for the most part) and they can only have fake or origami flowers (a really cool hospital volunteer project just make sure to wash your hands and not fold / assemble them while sick).

I feel like there’s some statistical fuckery going on here. I feel like in a lot of super religious communities 2 is a lot, maybe 3 depending on how many youth pastors talked you into a blowie when you were 14. Versus in a lot of more liberal communities premarital sex and divorces are a lot more common. And those communities reproduce like fucking rabbits vs other communities are out here fucking a lot but only reproducing responsibly.

I’ve also wondered if a lot of the highly religious women I grew up with finding sex unpleasant or a chore is mostly just due to the sex being bad. If they won’t even tell you what a clitoris is, the men are literally taught that they’re owed it and they don’t need to bother making it pleasant, and then add in that (EDIT: LATE) masturbation in women is associated with inability to orgasm as an adult… best case scenario most of the experience is just one long chafing sensation. No wonder all the women I grew up with mostly just found the whole thing gross!

edit: lol my phone cut out the word late before masturbation and that completely changes the meaning of that sentence. What I meant to say is that studies show that if women don’t masturbate when they’re young they’re at much higher risk for anorgasmia later in life.