I had this friend on our friend group that everytime were saying goodbye because was late and wanted to go home he started to bitch about how we should stay with hin and that he didn’t want to stay alone at the bar or going home with his wife. We’re always like lmao, not our problem, we want to go back home cause we miss our wife’s, if you don’t just get a divorce.

this one actually surprised me, because i expected the punchline to be something like “my wife tells me so every day!!!”