Todd: Daddy, if Cain and Abel were Adam and Eve’s only children, how did they make more babies?
Rod: Did they make babies with their mother, or with each other?
Ned Flanders: Your mouth is hoping for a soaping boy. Now stop asking silly questions and go kill your brother!
Mother fuckers
Then we repeated it with Noah. The Bible is big on incest.
The story about the arc is more modern than one might think:
And even if the bible was wrong and they had sisters instead…
I asked my Catechism teacher and she said
“they did have sisters, they just weren’t documented because nobody cared back then” (misogyny in the Bible, who could have guessed?)
“the inbreeding is why we’re no longer the image of God” (well damn) and “we didn’t have diversity before the Tower of Babel” (oh no, if only we didn’t dare challenge God, we could have prevented all those pesky different languages and cultures).Can you just admit that the Bible is full of nonsense rather than justifying it with downright batshit reasoning?
I mean they have a sheep…
Wake up Sheeple! It’s time for church.
I got thrown out of Confirmation class when I asked about that, luckily my parents laughed and said I should keep asking questions.
Forthermore, one of the brothers kills the other and is then Banished into the wilderness.
Perhaps this is the point where the theory of evolution and the Bible agree, and humans do indeed descend from apes.
Wasn’t there people outside the garden? I think it stood somewhere that they met people after leaving the garden.
The fuck did they come from?
A lot of the early books come from a time before the church decided to make Abrahamic religions monotheistic. YHWH was once the Hebrew god of war; a god within a pantheon of others. In that context, it makes sense that the other gods would have been doing their own thing. Another good example is GEN 3:22.
Don’t know wasn’t there but Genesis 4 definitly speaks about other people because Cain has a wife and his sons married some women who were not mentioned before.
