I don’t think I’ve spoken to a woman on Tinder who is actually interested in dating. The majority of them don’t ever reply, the few that do put zero effort into the conversation and often just want money. Once in a while a woman agrees to meet then just doesn’t. What the actual fuck? How do you guys handle this bullshit?

Before I get called an incel 1000 times, I am already doing everything right. I’m in therapy, I exercise every day, I eat healthy, I have diverse interests and several friends. I have paid people to review my profile and conversations and everyone agrees I am doing everything right.

  • OpenPassageways@lemmy.zip
    3·
    7 months ago

    I thought it was bullshit advice when people told me that too.

    I think the key is that when you “work on yourself” it’s not necessarily about losing weight, becoming more attractive, getting a better job.

    For me it’s more about gaining confidence and improving your own self esteem. If deep down you don’t feel like you’re worth dating, then you won’t exude the confidence that will be required to be attractive to someone.

    If dating apps are helping you meet people more than they are killing your confidence and self-esteem, then by all means continue to use them.

    For me, they just made things worse.

    • AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.eeOP
      2·
      7 months ago

      It’s difficult to gain confidence and self esteem while constantly being shot down by women.

      Dating apps aren’t helping at all. But what other option is there?

      • OpenPassageways@lemmy.zip
        2·
        7 months ago

        It was tough because for me I was into a lot of things where I would just never meet women.

        Super Smash Brother? Never met a woman Magic the Gathering? Same Rec baseball? Same

        For me it was getting into coed softball, but there are other sports if you didnt play baseball growing up.

        Some areas have coed kickball in the evenings and people are holding beers while playing it’s basically just a big social thing. There are organizations like MySocialSports that organize those things.

        I know a guy who met a girl playing in pool leagues.

        You could try Meetup, there are organized singles events on there.

        • AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.eeOP
          2·
          7 months ago

          I have the same problem where women aren’t interested in anything I do. It feels wrong to change myself and my interests just to appeal to women.