I’m getting tired of being the household beast of burden. Last night I decided to try and make just ONE damned chore in the house equitable. I assigned one kid to empty the dishwasher, the other to fill it, and my husband to wash whatever large items wouldn’t fit in the dishwasher. We discussed it. He agreed it was fair. I HATE a dirty kitchen and can’t cook when it’s filthy and I’m tired of doing all the cleanup before slaving away at the stove and then repeating.
Spoiler: he did not wash the dishes. He played video games and then went to bed. I washed them this morning.
I was mildly annoyed (read this happens constantly so I’m used to it) and told him just now that since I washed those dishes, could he please put them away. He’s doing that now, but his response has me fucking fuming.
“Why wouldn’t you just wait until I washed them? Why did you HAVE to do the dishes just to make me feel bad about it?”
I was mildly annoyed before and now I’m just fucking furious. He has no idea why I would even consider that manipulative. I’m so mad right now I can’t even find the words to productively explain to him why that statement was so offside.
Help me, sisters. I can’t even find the words.
Yes. I was diagnosed over 10 years ago. I do cbt, I take the meds, I make sure I sleep, eat, get enough water, do the doctor follow ups. I do it all to make sure my adhd is under control as much as it can be. I also have two jobs and do most of the housework. He plays on his ps5 and makes no changes. I am becoming resentful, overworked and tired of being broke because we also pay approximately 90:10 toward the household costs because he won’t do any job that he doesn’t love. So he teaches music part time in the evenings. I have ptsd from years of employment abuse and I have to work two jobs (one of which is still in that field) so I have something called hyper vigilance now which is doing damage to my heart.
At what point do I get to just be fucking mad ? I’ve been understanding on every level. But I can’t live like this so that he doesn’t have to be the slightest bit inconvenienced.
So, what you’re saying here is that your life would improve if you got a divorce…
I’m sorry to hear that, I couldn’t even imagine having to work two jobs, let alone getting employment abuse, I’m tired enough as it is when I get home from my one job. My wife isn’t working either but luckily we get by anyway, but getting a house or a larger investment will take a super long time since there is not much to save each month.