• Oka@lemmy.ml
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    8 months ago

    Debt to family members. If I pay them off, I’ll have a reason to keep living. If i decide to run or kill myself, then I’ll just be “a coward” and “selfish”.

    But I’ve had bad luck my whole life. I hope I’ll be able to pay them off one day, but the idea of suicide has been crossing my mind daily. I’ve been unemployed since covid except for 1 job which lasted a month, and another job this December which may only last a month.

    I am out of money. I just graduated university with a Bachelors Degree, and unlike most of my colleagues, I’ve been unable to get a job in the industry.

    My school loans are coming to collect in January. My whole family is poor. I’m the realistic example of a poor person graduating with a degree. I’m stuck poor, and I will probably die poor.

    • Changetheview@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Getting your first job after getting your degree is arguably the hardest time in your career. Just remember that it only takes one. Keep applying. Get help with your resume. Practicing interviewing and always have an appropriate outfit ready to go. You can do it.

      I’m not saying it’s easy nor that you should be overly selective. Your struggles are valid and job seeking blows. But just keep trying. If others have been able to get a job in the industry, that’s a good sign. I know it can be hard to see and compre yourself against, but it does not mean you won’t follow.

      Earning a degree is a major accomplishment and one you should be proud of. Loans can seem overbearing and stressful, but if they’re federal student loans, you can get on an income-based repayment plan to alleviate a lot of pressure. If you’re not generating income, the payment is usually $0. Very normal for new graduates and some people stay on them for a much longer time. Do not neglect these payments. Make sure to apply for this well before your first payment’s due date (probably now if your due date is January).

      Just keep on trucking on. One day at a time. Your family cares enough to help you out and you’re in a tough spot. Keep trying to improve and it’s likely to happen. Lean on all of your contacts, friends, and personal drive.

      • Oka@lemmy.ml
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        8 months ago

        I have applied for the income based payments, but I also have 2 other loans that were deemed “personal loans” which makes up the other half of all my loans.

        I’m at over $100,000 USD in debt. If I don’t pay it, they’re going to come after my family members who cosigned, and they can’t afford to pay it either, so we’re all fucked if I don’t make payments.

        BTW I was late on 1 payment and they slapped me with an additional $70 on my regular payment of $25. This is why I’ve thought about ending it. It won’t be my problem anymore and I won’t have to consider the consequences.

        I’ll just be gone forever. But I also don’t want to do that to my family if I can help it.