• calypsopub@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Sounds like you finally found the right woman.

    I knew he was the one when my husband (then boyfriend) cried in the theater when (spoiler alert) ET died. I wish more women had empathy for men’s unique struggles, but some of us do exist.

    After his best friend moved away, my husband gradually settled into this dynamic where I was his only emotional support. Meanwhile I actively nurtured friendships with several women in my life. When he died, I had a network of people checking on me. I shudder to think how he would have fared if the situation were reversed.

    Many friends and family asked me how they could help. I always replied that I wanted them to include my then-21-year-old son in their family plans occasionally, especially those who could provide a male role model. I asked male friends and relatives to check in on him occasionally and encourage him as he struggled through a deep depression to finish his degree. Only one person bothered. I am still angry about this.

    We all need to be the change we want to see. Women need to be more aware and more accepting of men’s emotions. Men need to work harder at forming and maintaining deep friendships. Look around and notice men in your circle who are struggling. Ask yourself how you can reach out to them.

    Society is doing a crap job at creating ways for men to get support. So stop waiting for that to happen and do it yourself.