• AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    My wife and I have been together for almost 20 years and we almost never talk about finances. She has her own bank account, and her own money, and I have my own bank account and my own money. We have a joint account that we both have auto transfers into on paydays to cover our joint household bills. I make more than her, so I contribute more to the bills, so that we have about the same amount of money after everything is paid. Then that’s it! She doesn’t need to ask me or talk to me before buying something she wants, and visa-versa. I even bought a car once and didn’t talk to her about it. She was excited when I brought it home. I highly suggest this accounting method for couples. I’ve been in a relationship before where we had all our money as a single household pool, and it fucking sucked! We were always arguing about things we each wanted. Anyways, the point is that it’s not only not impossible to be in a committed relationship without talking about money, it’s probably actually the preferred method (at least it is for us).

    • OpenPassageways@lemmy.zip
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      5 months ago

      I agree with this, it seems like the best solution to me.

      I think where this gets tricky is with kids and retirement.

      How would you address that? If you’ve got more saved for retirement does that mean you would retire early while she is still working? How does the household budget work when she isn’t working because she just had a kid? I guess you’d just contribute the full budget?

      • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        She always worked, so I never had to answer the kid question. That does get tricky. As far as retirement goes, that’s also something we haven’t had to think about yet. We both max out our retirement contributions, and save some extra money on the side. I’m older, so I probably will retire a few years earlier, assuming either of us are ever even able to retire. Social Security retirement age will probably be raised to 100 by the time we’re retirement age. It’s a conversation we’ve had a couple of times, but never very seriously. I know we’re both treating it seriously though, so there’s that.