This conversation has popped back into my head. Over the last year a friend my wife met over the Internet and at conventions became a mutual cuddle buddy of ours and (with my wife) a romantic interest.

In hindsight I think your story helped nudge me towards it. Around October I began doing erotic roleplay with folks online. A lot of times I wanted to do more stuff with them, like JOI or just involve voice chat or anything but it was always outside of the limits.

After it was clear my wife was interested romantically in our mutual friend we brought back up the topic of poly and where our boundaries really are. To make a long story short, I just picked up my wife from the airport last night after her visiting this friend alone. I’m very happy for them. I’ve started doing more directly sexual things online with folks as opposed to just roleplay too. We’re both as happy as can be still.

Also, your story about what your partner said after the first time reminded me of the first time I went on an online “date” with someone. My wife was actually excited for me and gushed over the details with me and afterwards, later that day she very specifically came and sat with me on the couch and cuddled. It’s been a great experience overall. Just like with you, it’s helped my wife feel less anxious about needing to be able to satisfy me. It’s made the times she actually is in the mood better as well because she feels less stressed.

Physically, no. Emotionally getting gifts from people you didn’t think were that close of friends really makes me happy though. Recently two friends have gotten me things. One of them got me something because I was sad and they’re literally going through chemo. Like, girl, wtf, you did this for me while you’re on chemo? I couldn’t handle it. It broke me.

What about an erotic roleplay community?

Thank you so much for sharing this story. It’s heart warming to hear success stories about open relationships. ❤️

Yes! More from a sake of transparency and excitement but yeah. The touching and cuddling was all very obvious but I wasn’t sure they knew I gave them a little kiss on the head too. They thought it was cute and were happy for me.

Both of us (my wife and I) have always wanted to be more physical with friends and get very physically affectionate when we’re drunk. We talk to each other about how we always want to do this sort of thing but even the risk of talking about it might make people too uncomfortable. It was really nice finally getting to do it. ❤️

Don’t get too excited, it wasn’t sex, but my wife and I cuddled with a friend. Earlier this year my wife cuddled with someone and for whatever reason it pissed me off. I did a lot of soul searching about it. They (my wife) told me it was totally platonic and I believe them but it just pissed me off. I finally came to the conclusion that I was jealous because nobody was cuddling with me lol. As simple as that.

So fast forward to a few weeks ago, we had a friend visit from out of town. We sort of joked about them being a third (see my other comment on this thread for details there lol) but decided against it. We did go back over our boundaries that we consider cheating. A friend of ours is being cheated on by her husband – they’re doing ethical non monogamy but he’s breaking every rule they set forth so it’s just cheating and gaslighting in my eyes. Anyways, because of that the two of us are like more talkative about our boundaries lately lol. So we say cuddles and even short kisses are fine, just don’t grope or make out. This is when my wife was like making sure because earlier this year that happened with the other friend. My wife is great, I fucking love them.

Anyways, so I told them, I will definitely get upset if no one is cuddling with me while the two of them do if they do. But I sort of narrowed it down to that even if it’s my wife like in the middle cuddling with me and them it won’t make me jealous. I just need anyone cuddling with me.

We were going to go to a haunted house earlier in their stay (they are they/them pronouns) but I was getting over a cold. We had our big annual Halloween party coming. That’s why they flew in. I really didn’t want to get them sick and miserable during that. So I chose to stay home. I was really really looking forward to them clinging to me. Like we were talking about it. It’s not some weird hope I just dreamt up that would happen. I was going to be in the front, my wife in the back, and they were going to be between us because they’re so scared of haunted houses. They even said they would probably just cling to me the whole time lol.

But we did have a few moments where everything aligned. I don’t want this post to just sound depressing lol. We were showing them to various gay bars in the area. We went to one and, shocking, but got drunk lol. All three of us get more physical when we’re drunk. I know my wife and I are on the same page but I think they were to, but like we want to be more physical with friends but it’s so tricky to do without seeming weird, especially once the relationship dynamic is set. Either way we all had a lot of contact with each other that night. The part that sticks out was when we were on the porch. I had a arm around each of their shoulders and they were holding hands. The nights a blur but I remember giving my wife a smooch on the head for some reason and our guest was right there so they got one too. The other moment was minor but we cuddled on our own porch. I sort of laid my arm out and both of them rested their heads on it like a pillow.

So there you have it. Some sort of naughty sort of not so naughty fun I had recently.

I feel like I’m looking at a version of me from another universe. I’m a recently bisexual man whose wife is recently asexual. I don’t really know where they are on the spectrum because they clearly enjoy sex with me (and they’re also definitely not aromantic, they love romance). Regardless, in the past year, I don’t remember when exactly, but we were prepping to have sex and when they came out of the shower they were just crying. They were telling me how we needed to have an open relationship and stuff.

For context, we’ve always tossed the idea around. We’re high school sweet hearts in our 30s. They’re literally the second person I ever dated. (They’re nonbinary now, they/she.) We were conservative Christians when we began dating. When we’re talking about it we always describe it as we both became different people over the years but those two people are still compatible. She came out as bi a few years back as well.

Anyways, any relationship that’s been nearly half your life (by May I think it will be) I feel like the topic of poly/open comes up. We loved the joke from Arrested Development. “Lots of people think it will work for them and it doesn’t, but it might work for us.” From their side they don’t want to because they believe they’d get jealous. From my side I’m curious and sort of want to try but realistically I just know it’s not going to end well probably.

So my wife comes out just sobbing to me about how they’re never going to have a strong libido like they used to (we were more active in highschool and college). I tell her you know, I’m open to it, I really am, but this isn’t the state to be making these kinds of decisions in.

I’m reading your story and it makes me wonder, if I had spoken to them differently, would I be where you are today? And just in case my wording is off or something, I’m in no way trying to imply you’re doing something wrong. It’s just that this very specific moment happened to me.

Anyways, we do have rules for what is acceptable to do with other people. Essentially like, “I’m drunk at a party, what is acceptable?” Sort of stuff like cuddles and kisses are okay, making out and touching genitals aren’t.

We did come sort of close having a third. It’s a stretch to call it close, but like, if you consider any time three people are in a group it was close. We had a friend visit from out of town. My wife and I sort of joked.to each other about them being a good candidate because weove the idea of being able to date our friends in a poly way or whatever but it’s a huge risk for little gain. We’d need to try it with new friends that we don’t mind losing if shit goes south, you know? Not our old friends we’ve had for years who would never look at us the same after we brought it up. This friend from out of town was a new friend and because they live so far away we wouldn’t have to bump into them! We ended up deciding not to pursue it. I don’t really remember why but I think we made the right call.

We did get some good cuddles on the couch all three of us though.

Idk, I’m rambling at the point. Thank you for sharing your story. I feel like we’re kindred spirits from across time and space haha.

I think they’re confused because they only see comments saying it is wrong and also being on Mastodon it replies differently. Just a guess.

I think that’s beautiful ❤️

Honestly, me too a little.

Let’s be honest, this is a pron alt too haha.

I totally see what you mean. When my wife and I first started exploring kink she was hesitant. Willing but hesitant. Her feeling comfortable enough to do aggressive, degrading, or painful things to me is a major turn on in part because of the intimacy.

I’m into forced orgasms as well. I think it feels taboo because it is difficult to explain to people that it is consensual. Like, “That looks and sounds like rape, what do you mean it is consensual? If it’s consensual it isn’t forced, what do you mean forced?”

About incest though, it’s interesting the way you phrase it, would you be interested in doing consensual stuff with your closely related family or is it only witnessing closely related people being sexual that is fun for you?

Re: incest

You make a good point about most incest porn not feeling very incesty. I watch it sometimes but only specific types. I’m into dom sub stuff. A lot of it out there tends to be super hard and over the top. A lot of step mother incest porn tends to hit the same notes of the dom sub stuff but in a gentler way. That they’re supposedly a family is not part of it for me. It’s more the kinkiness of someone taking advantage of you that has a trusted position of authority over you. Like if it was a boss and employee I’d still enjoy it. The content tends to be more gentle in the domination than content tagged as BDSM. There you find stuff like people tied up. I like that too but a variety is nice.

Health and safety are definitely a pretty clear line for when fetishes become taboo. Like if someone is into choking that’s one thing, but if they want to pass out that feels disturbing.

I’m not into Daddy/Daughter so I can’t really say, but does it feel similar to how people call their partner daddy/mommy to you? Like I can get down with calling my wife “mommy” but she doesn’t like it so I don’t call her that. But even for me it’s just the mommy aspect, her calling me son or a child feels weird. That’s not part of it for me.

I mention is because this is a good example of what I was trying to describe in the past. To me, someone saying “I have a daddy kink” or “I want to be called daddy” all feel much less taboo than “I have a daddy/daughter kink”. I guess because it feels similar to pedophilia (I’m not saying it is, just trying to work out why I think people would treat it as taboo). That said, as a man being called “daddy” by a woman is basically them saying “I’m your daughter” in a sense but it feels like folks don’t want to treat it the same.

This definitely feels like a fetish and also definitely feels like it crosses the taboo line. Assuming you’re not just shit posting (lol), are you interested in using eel shaped toys with a partner or is it just a fantasy?

A site admin did intervene. What do you mean?

Related: https://lemmynsfw.com/post/166318

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