Thank you for adding flair to your post.
We here at the /mentalhealth community disagree with the idea that there is nothing special about you. Your need is just as great as every other person and you can’t play that game with yourself because it’s dangerous. Please continue ranting here all you want if it makes you feel better to get some of your frustrations out. We understand and this is what we are here for. We’re glad you came here and talked with us and gave us a chance to help you out.
However we obviously can’t help you in a crisis, and if you are in real danger of harming yourself, please call 988 or make use of the options available for actively suicidal people that you are already aware of. I assure you that there are people around you whose life would be worse if you followed through with any plans for suicide. Please read this post for more helpful info.
I was so lucky that my mother spent her last days at a nursing home seemingly unaffected by corporate greed. The staff were kind, caring and informative. I was alone with her when she passed and waited a minute or so before hitting the button to get a nurse to check on her. The Nurse Manager told me it is not uncommon for something like this to happen, so she would check Mom’s vitals multiple times over fifteen minutes and then call her doctor and the funeral home for confirmation before she would be officially pronounced dead.