A 74-year-old woman believed to have died while in hospice care was found to be breathing after being transported to a funeral home, authorities in Nebraska said Monday.
The woman had been transported from a nursing home, where she had been declared dead at around 9:44 a.m. local time, to the Butherus-Maser & Love Funeral Home in Lincoln on Monday morning, according to the Lancaster County Sheriff’s Office.
Authorities responded to the funeral home after an employee noticed the woman was breathing and “instantly called 911” at approximately 11:44 a.m., according to Lancaster County Chief Deputy Ben Houchin.
Two hunters are walking through the woods. One hunter falls down, hits his head on a rock and gets knocked out.
The other hunter freaks and gets out his cell phone and calls 911. When the operator picks up, the hunter says “Help! My buddy fell down and hit his head on a rock. He’s not moving! I think he’s dead!”
The operator says, “You think he’s dead? He could still be alive! You need to make sure.”
The hunter says okay and puts down the phone. The operator hears a gun shot. The hunter picks up the phone and says, “Okay, I made sure he’s dead, now what?”
My favorite version of this is a farmhand running over a pig on his way to work and calling the farmer to ask what to do. He says no matter what he does the poor pig won’t stop squealing. Farmer says you gotta put him down and he hears a gunshot. Farmhand comes back and asks what he should do about the flashing lights on the pigs motorcycle.
That was unreasonably and unacceptably funny. You bastard.
I think this was the first version of that I heard: