I don’t think I’ve spoken to a woman on Tinder who is actually interested in dating. The majority of them don’t ever reply, the few that do put zero effort into the conversation and often just want money. Once in a while a woman agrees to meet then just doesn’t. What the actual fuck? How do you guys handle this bullshit?

Before I get called an incel 1000 times, I am already doing everything right. I’m in therapy, I exercise every day, I eat healthy, I have diverse interests and several friends. I have paid people to review my profile and conversations and everyone agrees I am doing everything right.

  • OpenPassageways@lemmy.zip
    12·
    8 months ago

    Delete all dating apps, and most social media. For me, I don’t have apps for Instagram or Facebook on my phone but will log in in the browser if I need to contact someone.

    I found that dating apps were not good for my self-esteem and were therefore counter-productive. It’s like speed-rejection on a daily basis.

    You just have to get out and find activities you enjoy where you can also meet people. Dating apps were not a good tool for meeting people for me. I had success with coed sports though.

    Just forget about chasing women for a bit and work on yourself, which happens to also include some coed activities. Some areas have kickball, coed softball is everywhere, get out there and do something, build up confidence instead of letting dating apps and social media drag you down.

    • AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.eeOP
      4·
      7 months ago

      If there’s a 0.01 percent chance I’ll find a girl on a dating app then it’s better than the zero percent chance I have without it.

      I’m honestly sick of being told to “work on myself”. I’ve been fucking doing that. I’ve lost over 100lbs and I’m in therapy. I’ve been making friends. I am working on myself. It doesn’t help.

      • OpenPassageways@lemmy.zip
        3·
        7 months ago

        I thought it was bullshit advice when people told me that too.

        I think the key is that when you “work on yourself” it’s not necessarily about losing weight, becoming more attractive, getting a better job.

        For me it’s more about gaining confidence and improving your own self esteem. If deep down you don’t feel like you’re worth dating, then you won’t exude the confidence that will be required to be attractive to someone.

        If dating apps are helping you meet people more than they are killing your confidence and self-esteem, then by all means continue to use them.

        For me, they just made things worse.

        • AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.eeOP
          2·
          7 months ago

          It’s difficult to gain confidence and self esteem while constantly being shot down by women.

          Dating apps aren’t helping at all. But what other option is there?

          • OpenPassageways@lemmy.zip
            2·
            7 months ago

            It was tough because for me I was into a lot of things where I would just never meet women.

            Super Smash Brother? Never met a woman Magic the Gathering? Same Rec baseball? Same

            For me it was getting into coed softball, but there are other sports if you didnt play baseball growing up.

            Some areas have coed kickball in the evenings and people are holding beers while playing it’s basically just a big social thing. There are organizations like MySocialSports that organize those things.

            I know a guy who met a girl playing in pool leagues.

            You could try Meetup, there are organized singles events on there.

            • AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.eeOP
              2·
              7 months ago

              I have the same problem where women aren’t interested in anything I do. It feels wrong to change myself and my interests just to appeal to women.