The title pretty much says it all. I’ve always struggled to connect with others, but the farther I find myself outside of societal norms, the harder it gets.
The title pretty much says it all. I’ve always struggled to connect with others, but the farther I find myself outside of societal norms, the harder it gets.
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Well said! I agree there are underlying reasons for why we reject certain social norms and not others. But I might push back a little bit - what about the cases where these reasons effectively trump any potential loneliness their actions would cause? i.e. I made the “decision” to transition, despite knowing it would definitely isolate me from a lot of close friends and family.
That’s a tough situation. I guess I would just advise trying to find other groups who will accept you for who you are. You’re not alone, but you might have to work much harder to seek out people who are able to understand what you’re going through.
Lemmy is a good substitute sometimes but you really need IRL support as well.
If you can afford to, move somewhere more tolerant
One thing to take a moment on is double checking if you really are being isolated or if you’re just perceiving what you expect to see. The one person I’ve known closely who has some gender uncertainty/questions had some pre-determined expectations of what would happen, and as a result saw them validated at every turn regardless of the intent.
It’s possible that what you see is truly non-acceptance, but take a step back to be sure it’s not just a bit colored by your own expectations of others response.
The mere act of understanding the reasons that make loneliness worth a course of action precludes rejecting societal norms out of hand or following them uncritically. So, I think you’re good.
I don’t really have any advice for your question, but I want to applaud you for having the kind of strength needed to be who you are.
Perhaps, not the most pleasant thought, they were never really your friends if they cannot accept who you are inside—which has no impact on them or anyone else but you.
There are some really nice people on FB and Insta. People who never had the time nor reason to realise that they’re being advertised and exploited. People who will never join the Fediverse because they’re happy with what they get from their current social.
If you’re a single person, looking to meet new interesting people, you’ve just shut out 90% of the world.
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That’s the thing – it’s not online access only. More and more people are finding each other online and forming lasting relationships from it.
I currently live in a country where dating is extremely hard, especially so for the foreigners. Finding my people here just doesn’t happen. Oh sure there are meetup groups, but that’s a handful of people. Using a simple app like FB to find english-speaking people in your area who have a common interest? An extremely useful tool.
That makes sense, FB is still fairly popular with younger people in foreign countries I guess.
In the US, pretty much nobody below 40 is going to be actively socializing on FB.
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well that’s the sad thing - I don’t use nor have I really ever. The most social I ever did was 15 years of reddit.
But I watch friends and colleagues, go out on dates with like-minded people, or find great deals on furniture, and I can’t help but think “huh.”
My main point is, it’s a horrible app/platform, but it has incredible utility by way of reach.