• Zoop@beehaw.org
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    2 months ago

    I didn’t know it was possible for me to love the Hard Times even more! This is fantastic. I especially love these bits:

    At this moment Steve starts singing ‘here’s my fist it never fails, when I swing it really sails, when it strikes I want to wail, dieeeeee!!!’ and then he just starts bashing in Dan’s skull

    and

    At press time, it was reported that a spotted blue puppy was seen in LA carrying around the decapitated head of convicted pedophile and former Nickelodeon employee Brian Peck.

    Fuck, I just love it so much. Beautiful! Thanks for posting this here, ZeroCool!

    • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 months ago

      It’s pretty much an “open secret” that he’s a pedophile who abused a number of the female stars of Nickelodeon shows.

      This is a vine from one of his former stars. I don’t see any way to interpret that except as a cry for help with the thinnest fucking veneer of hiding behind comedy.

      Beyond that, of what I understand to be the openly verifiable stuff, he’s openly a sex pest with a foot fetish as he has had a number of incredibly out of place scenes involving shots of underage female stars feet in the shows he has overseen, and he also tried to start a trend of getting (mostly underage) fans of his shows to write messages on their feet and post the pictures to twitter. I think it was “supposed” to be some sort of campaign to bring a show back?

      Man is at absolute best a disgusting fucking creep preying on the underage for his foot fetish. Tons of circumstantial evidence that he’s much much worse than that.

      • Olgratin_Magmatoe@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Don’t forget, he’s had multiple pedophiles on his set. You don’t just get a bunch of pedophiles in your orbit for no reason.

        • Kiosade@lemmy.ca
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          2 months ago

          I mean he’s been fat most of his life and he’s pushing 60. But yeah his lips look weird with that beard

      • melpomenesclevage@lemm.ee
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        2 months ago

        its possible to have a foot fetish without being a creep about it. let’s not kink shame the pedophile rapist sex pest.

        • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          its possible to have a foot fetish without being a creep about it.

          Although that’s a perfectly innocent fetish under normal circumstances, it is not Innocent when he’s getting sexual gratification from minors without their knowledge. That’s creepy as fuck. Nobody would care if he was attracted to the feet of consenting adults.

  • moistclump@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    “If there’s one thing I always wanted to teach the kids who watched ‘Blues Clues’ it’s that you have to be ready to do the right thing,” said Steve from behind the glass in the local jail. “That’s why after watching the ‘Quiet on Set’ documentary I knew I had to take action. I followed all of the clues before sitting down in my thinking chair and thinking about what to do. I soon realized that abused children, Dan Schneider, and my fists all added up to justified vigilante justice. My dog might be blue but I vowed my hands would be magenta after I was done with him.”

  • ArugulaZ@kbin.social
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    2 months ago

    “You’ve gone to the DEAD of the Class! Say hi to Howard Hesseman for me!”
    (audience hoots and cheers wildly)

  • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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    2 months ago

    Elvis is dead. Tupac is dead. Steve from Blue’s Clues is dead. Let it go. I’m sick of his denials by now.

    • Ozymati@lemmy.nz
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      2 months ago

      No, he just went to college. Although it is possible he was replaced with a liberal doppleganger while there.

    • ZeroCoolOP
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      2 months ago

      “hands would be magenta” my guy you probably shoulda googled that word before committing to it.

      Magenta is a purple-ish red color which on it’s own doesn’t really work as a reference to blood, but the author chose that specific color because it’s also the name of Blue’s friend next door, a dog named Magenta.

      https://bluesclues.fandom.com/wiki/Magenta

      Perhaps you should’ve googled that before committing to your comment?

      • blargerer@kbin.social
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        2 months ago

        It also works as the color of bruises, which your hands would be after viciously beating someone.

      • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Magenta is a purple-ish red color which on it’s own doesn’t really work as a reference to blood

        That’s something an honour-less p’takh would say.

      • DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe
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        2 months ago

        I don’t think that’s a reasonable ask, considering it basically requires pre-existing knowledge to consider.

        It’s an awkward line that only a small subset readers would ever get, and isn’t even good with context.

        • Alto@kbin.social
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          2 months ago

          The target audience is kids who grew up watching Blues Clues. I’m pretty sure most the target audience would have gotten it.

          You weren’t the target audience, that’s fine.

          • DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe
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            2 months ago

            I actually watched it with my younger brother enough to get it.

            The target audience of that line is people with bad taste in wordplay.

            • Woovie@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              I always hear about smart, dumb people and dumb, smart people, but I think you’re a dumb dumb person.

                • fishos@lemmy.world
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                  2 months ago

                  Bro, you’re like 6 levels down in the chain still arguing this shit… Who’s weird?

          • DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe
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            2 months ago

            ZeroCool, are you the author of the article?

            I ask because you don’t quite seem to understand what that word means or the context it would be appropriate for either.

            • ZeroCoolOP
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              2 months ago

              lol okay pal, that’s enough of you. Bye now. 👋

                • Nero@sopuli.xyz
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                  2 months ago

                  They don’t seem upset to me just dismissive. If I had to guess I’d say they probably don’t want to keep explaining to you what a facetious remark is. Which is probably a good idea, because you seem to be very dumb.

        • NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip
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          2 months ago

          The article and joke was rather mid. But holy crap is watching you turn into a corncob because you didn’t get a joke hilarious

        • ZeroCoolOP
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          2 months ago

          I return your pettiness to you. Bye now. 👋

          lmao oh no! Anyway…

        • Tier 1 Build-A-Bear 🧸@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Holy shit HOW do you not know magenta is a color like pink or purple lmao, the dog is named Magenta because it is the color magenta, kinda like how the only other fuckin dog in the show is named BLUE cuz it’s FUCKIN BLUE.

          A magenta colored flower isn’t out of the cards when you Google the word of a pinkish color.

          Your fists don’t go instantly blood red when you punch someone, unless you’re doing something very wrong, there are various shades of pink (e.g.s hot pink and MAGENTA)

          Either smoke a joint and calm the fuck down and try to come to terms with the fact that you’re ignorant instead of getting angry, or go back to first grade and learn colors again.

      • DarkNightoftheSoul@mander.xyz
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        2 months ago

        On a second, more careful review of that wikipedia page:

        I thank you for being the only person to actually address and correct my mistake. While the color I was brought up to understand as magenta and the color of the flower I got when I googled “magenta” and the color of the relevant dog (if you squint, maybe) do not look like any bruise or blood, the color can be fairly said to take up more space in the color wheel than that, and potentially includes many “bruised” colors.